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Montreal, Quebec

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Journal

Involving your parents when planning your wedding

Maxine Bertrand

We all know that although your wedding is the most special day of your life (aside from a child perhaps), it can also be a very stressful moment. Unless you get a wedding planner of course (wink!). Parents can often be a little overwhelming when it comes to wanting to help with the planning process. They mean well, however, it can be much at times. Now don't get me wrong, you love your mother (we all do) and you appreciate that she loves you unconditionally. She's raised you and helped make you the person you are today. So, trust me when I say, I'm not hating on the moms (or dads) but we all know they can drive us coo coo sometimes! 

Now, here comes the tricky part. How do you do this? If you're anything like me, a total CONTROL FREAK (you can ask my boyfriend), this is a lot harder to do. If they are things that you just can't let go, it's ok but if you know that involving them will make them happy, go ahead and give them something that will make them feel a part of it all. The way I handle this with my client, is I go through our entire wedding task list. Yup, one by one but believe me when I say, once tasks are assigned the process is so much easier and you have a clear vision of the entire wedding plan. Each task can be assigned to the bride, groom, bride and groom and others such as bridesmaids, groomsmen, and yep, you guessed it, parents! The way to get your head around this is to sit and think about their qualities and strengths. What are they good at? Your dad is really good at building stuff, get him to build your wedding arch. You're mom throw's a great party, have her organize the rehearsal dinner. 

With this, I thought I provide a few ideas of tasks to involve your dear parents. Let's look at this from a category or type of people your parents are.

  1. The Foodies
    • Catering and/or wine pairing and tastings
    • Rehearsal Dinner / Restaurant choice
       
  2. The Organizers
    • Party organization - Engagement, rehearsals, bridal luncheon
    • RSVPs - you can have all responses go directly to them and they can keep track of them
    • Welcome bags for out-of-towners
    • Research accommodations for out-of-town guests.
       
  3. The Handyman (person)
    • Build personalized wedding decor - arbors, arches, food stations
    • Transform a backyard into a wedding ceremony and reception site. 
       
  4. The Creative
    • Get them involved in the colour choices
    • They can also help out with the stationary (menus, escort cards, programs, etc.)
    • Decorate or help set up the reception and ceremony sites

These are just a few ways to get them involved. Perhaps, these are too much involvement for some and you would much rather they play a smaller role. I'd be thrilled to hear some ideas to get parents involved with the planning process. Jot down some suggestions in the comments field or on social media using the hashtag #agfadvice

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 Pictures by:  Lisa Renault Photographie / Ella Photography / GarrenTee Photography